There’s a moment, somewhere in the blindness of 4:00 am, when the night is as dark as it can possibly be. If you’re left in the middle of nowhere all alone at this time, you will be scared of the uncertainty. You might just know where you came from and have a faint idea where to go next, but at 4:00 am, you will definitely be scared.
If you’re alone, you will be scared of loneliness. If you’re with someone you’ll be scared of losing that person. If you’re with a bunch of people, you might be okay, but you will still wonder if you will be left behind like an outcast. That’s what 4:00 am does.
Life has its 4:00 am phases also. I’m going through one right now. I’m at a place where I can’t justify why I’m here, what I’m doing here and least of all why now. I can’t justify it to myself, so every consecutive person asking me about it just drives it home.
I can’t justify the time I have ‘wasted’ while I was neither out there having exceptional amount of fun to talk home of or doing phenomenal work. Both of which I know I am capable of doing. So now, I’m just scared that I am not going to get out of this dark and murky 4:00 am phase.
But I know if I start walking and focus on the road, that soon enough it will be 5:00 am and the birds will know its time to set shop. They will rub their eyes open, stretch after a deep slumber and start their morning songs. I’m sure a few of them late risers will curse the crap out of these morning birds but they’ll know that morning will be here soon.
The blindness and uncertainty will pass. And a new chapter, a new day will start. I will do something to prove some point to myself. And I will stick at it for long enough and find stability.I’m capable of it. I know.
So dear 4:00 am – I’m stronger than you.
Melkor says: 
