So this song is by Abakus. I heard it on repeat on my flight here. Almost the whole 8 hours. And now its almost time to come back again. That’s a strange, unnerving and comforting feeling.
What’s on my mind today? A lot of things. But I’ll stick to the theme of “culture is not your friend”. And a lot of you might find this strange if you know me at all, with all my sociology mumbo jumbo.
The reason I think this way though, is because I was whining about some things that I didn’t like about my time here. For example, the inflexibility in what you’re expected to read and quote in academic papers.
I’m not an academic conformist, not by any definition of the term. I’ve never been one in school where we had a rigid ‘culture’ of education. In junior college we didn’t have a ‘rigid’ culture of education, so I thrived (not having teachers really works for me as a student). Then in undergrad I came back to a sort of ‘culture’ but it was flexible and soon enough I carved my own niche in it, and learned how to thrive for myself. Then I did the post grad diploma where I really thrived and I think the primary reason was because I was my own teacher and I was responsible for my own culture of education. And sure, the process may not have been acceptable by a lot of people’s standards, but the results were, and so I guess, I got to keep my process without much question.
NOW, I’m here, in this institution. This institution with its own rigid notions of what need to be read, what needs to be written and what needs to be said. I’ve not had to deal with deadlines like this one – specially on readings, not have I ever been forced into reading a text I find useless. And just so that I make it amply clear, the text may be excellent for someone else, it just doesn’t work for me, so I don’t get why anyone should insist at a master’s level, that I read it.
Basically, I guess what I’m trying to say is, each academic institution has its own academic culture. You know, with a set of rituals, practices, set of acceptable and unacceptable behavior etc and because I haven’t studied in one with a rigid culture in so long (and never conformed to one) I find it very hard to do here. And on top of all that, I’m due to find out my grade on a term paper we submitted earlier this month. Either in the next two days or latest by next week. And I would hate doing badly in it.
I don’t have very great expectations, but I usually like being good at what I do. And I know I haven’t cared much about what other people think, I still want them to think that I’m good. But then, there’s already a paradox here. If I don’t read what they want me to, how are they going to like me.
I’m just hoping someone out there will see the light. Or I will. And somehow, just for this one year, I’ll find a culture that is actually my friend.
And with that I conclude my rant for today. Until tomorrow.
